Mum, Is God Real?
How do we come to believe what we believe?
Years ago, on a sunny Sunday afternoon like today, I was seated on a bench in the local square observing the stream of Black people in their African attire heading home from church. There was one middle-aged white woman in jeans and a t-shirt also walking hurriedly, dragging her son to quicken his footsteps. Just as they passed me, her son (around age 8) said, "Mum, is God real?" She responded, "Of course he is. What do you think all these people are going to church for?"
This got me thinking: "To what degree do humans believe in something because others believe in it?"
1 | Belonging
Have you seen the YouTube video of a man dancing in the park to music while everyone else watches him? His dance was silly and funny, and he was having the time of his life. Perhaps people wanted to join him, but no one did until one person did. After that one person, the floodgates opened and it turned into a party in the park. This real-life illustration demonstrates The First Follower Principle. If you haven't watched it, you can watch it here.
Behind The First Follower Principle, we see a powerful demonstration that humans follow each other. In that particular example, we see that human beings follow others when they feel it is safe to do so—so they no longer are the odd one out.
Humans are social creatures that evolved in groups. Being cast out meant death. It was safer to be part of the herd than to be the odd one out. Therefore, if others believe, then we do too. Now that we can choose to belong to a tribe, the next question is: which tribe?
2 | Tribal Bias
Bandura's Social Learning Theory suggests that we learn behaviours through social interactions with our role models. Therefore, we don’t just copy any human—we copy those we deem to be our role models. In childhood, these were our parents. This is normal, for they took care of us and we survived. So if we link this back to our survival instincts, it is reasonable to continue doing what has worked before.
In adulthood, our role models may reflect a conscious choice—people we aspire to be like—as opposed to following the default role models given to us.
However, even on an unconscious level, we may still hold a tribal bias towards people who are most similar to us—similar in interests, aesthetics, music tastes, cultural background, even skin colour…
All of the people in my observation were Black people—why are they Christians, as opposed to Sikh, for example? Or another question might be: would that white mother take her son to the same church all of the Africans attended?
Our role models are either chosen subconsciously as we choose ourselves, or they are chosen deliberately—not on the basis of superficial factors but on the basis of character and the aspiration to become something more.
3 | Institutional Authority Bias
At a fundamental level, there is the idea of institutional authority bias. Not only are we following our tribe or our parents, but there is an authority inherent in the institution itself. It is tradition to believe in something. How can you not? It's just the way things are, and that authority is much bigger than us, so we listen.
The 8-year-old boy had a valid question, for he had heard of this thing called "God" over and over, yet never seen him. However, he had seen churches, mosques, and temples in various parts of town. He had heard people say "God bless you" after a sneeze. And if he were in America, he would have noticed the phrase "In God we trust" on the dollar bill.
All around him, he would have been bombarded with subliminal messages from the institution that promotes God—that there is such a thing called "God"—despite being unable to identify it for himself. But the proof is in the thousands of followers the institution has amassed.
4 | Does Personal Conviction Override Group Influence?
Some will argue that it is their personal conviction that led them to their conclusions about God. But it can be argued that personal conviction is influenced by the group too. When we examine our deepest convictions, how many of them are truly ours versus inherited from our family, culture, or peer group?
Conclusion
The young boy’s question—“Mum, is God real?”—sparked a reflection on how much of what we believe is shaped by the people around us. But the inverse is also worth asking: Is there something you believe that no one else around you does?
Here’s your challenge: Think of one belief you consider deeply personal. Now trace its origins. Who influenced it—family, culture, friends, institutions? How much of it is truly yours?